This satire article is a collaboration between Slightly Fuzzed and Monster Riff. Welcome to Slightly Riffed: The Fakest News In Stoner Rock!
Finally, after years of waiting, Acid Breath has released their highly anticipated sophomore effort, Your Breath Smells Like Weed & Assholes. The follow-up to 2015’s beloved Stoner Rock opus Tic Tacs From Between The Couch Cushions (noteworthy for songs like “Elk.Blood.Fart” and “Take My Boner Away”), Your Breath Smells Like Weed & Assholes is a cosmic trip channeling the likes of Astroqueen with the riffing onslaught of bands like Karma to Burn.
About Acid Breath
Acid Breath is an Austin, TX band with a chip on their shoulder. The band is made of:
- Mary Jane Blotter – Vocals
- Jay Roach – Guitar
- Reefah Ganjah – Bass
- Dave “Broccoli” Skunk – Drums
Your Breath Smells Like Weed & Assholes Album Review
Tracks: 8
Length: 42:00
Release Date: December 9, 2022
Label: Majestic Mountain of Weed
Track 1: Sweet Lettuce
“Alright now,” Mary Jane Blotter cries as the album opens. “Won’t you listen?” As the roaring guitar fades into the forefront, she takes a brief pause, then rips into the unforgettable first verse:
When I first met you, didn’t realize
You were human; you smelled like crime
You introduced me… to your breath
And left me wanting death…
Oh, yeah!
As heavy as “Sweet Lettuce” is, it’s also a moving piece, and we found ourselves reaching for a box of tissues after lighting our bowl the second time.
2. Demon Squeegee
The lead single ahead of the full release for Your Breath Smells Like Weed & Assholes, “Demon Squeegee” simply pulses with Stoner Rock vibes; a fuzzy, churning, down-tuned guitar towers through the recording while terrifying drums pound through the air.
Here, Mary Jane Blotter’s vocals are extra demonic and descriptive:
I’ve got the Febreze on me
I Taste the Listerine
Gotta hide the skunk smell
But this is me now… Oh, well
Track 3: Dopeseat Highchair
“Dopeseat Highchair” plays slow and low, making it the heaviest Doom track on the entire album. Mary Jane Blotter’s vocals are extra distorted, and that gives an additional layer of unsettling madness to the mix, especially with these lyrics:
Funeral breath, dead black tongue
Mausoleum, your mouth is a tomb
Human zombie, snaggle tooth smile
No desire to brush, Colgate doesn’t work
Track 4: Road to Burn More Weed, Please
An emotional story about trying to find a working lighter, “Road to Burn More Weed, Please” is Acid Breath at the band’s most emotive. Just read these lyrics and feel the frustration:
There are two lighters in the glovebox today
One just has to work; it has been a long day
The sun burns my eyes, I hate it here in this car
Please light the bowl and I’ll start the drive
Track 5: Acidblind
According to the press release for Your Breath Smells Like Weed & Assholes, “Acidblind” was written about a lazy afternoon Jay Roach and Reefah Ganjah spent mixing drugs in the living room. Like the rest of the songs on this record, the lyrics are unforgettable:
My mind is blind, but I can see
Ice cream and goats in the trees
And the sun sets on the moon for free
I light this bong like a chimpanzee
Track 6: Green Machine Cleaner (Getting the Resin Out)
We were touched by how relatable “Green Machine Cleaner (Getting the Resin Out)” is, and we were simultaneously impressed by the band’s ability to relate to the public (despite their newfound celebrity status within the music community).
Here’s the impressive chorus:
I’m cleaning (cleaning) my ancient bowl
With the garden hose—
I’m so lazy!
I’m shutting down
I’m shutting down this sticky stuff…
This isn’t working, pass me the isopropyl!
We’re wishing the band good luck in getting their gear tidy!
Track 7: Fairies Wear Boots In My Acid Trips
Perhaps the darkest and gloomiest track on the record, “Fairies Wear Boots In My Acid Trips” is marked by a heavy, gloomy bass and the occasional flurry of notes from an organ. Of course, Acid Breath once again sets the scene with an incredible opening verse:
Listening to Sabbath late last night
Rolled it all up super tight
Looked out the window and what did I see
Ozzy and Jus Osborn screaming at me
Track 8: Powertripped Over the Bong
With its unforgettable bass line, “Powertripped Over the Bong” sports a captivating introduction—one that’s marked by this tidy verse:
Who’s gonna teach you how to prance?
Who’s gonna show you how to brush (your teeth)?
Who’s gonna call your breath
Like the stank that it is?
“Powertripped Over the Bong” is a powerful Stoner Rock track, and it’s an admirable way to conclude the record.
Final Thoughts On Your Breath Smells Like Weed & Assholes
Score: 9.5/10
Standout Tracks: “Demon Squeegee” and “Dopeseat Highchair”
Pros: The profound gravity, brilliant instrumentation, and outstanding songwriting within Your Breath Smells Like Weed & Assholes cement the album onto the Mount Rushmore of contemporary Stoner Rock.
Songs like “Demon Squeegee” and “Sweet Lettuce” demonstrate a keen understanding of what makes a Stoner Rock classic click, while simultaneously offering enough ingenuity and creativity to make the songs feel fresh and original.
Cons: The album’s weird obsession with oral hygiene ultimately made us feel a little self-conscious after the album concluded. We bought dental floss for the Monster Riff office for the first time ever, and we’re now actively searching for a team dental plan.
Learn More About Acid Breath
To learn more about Acid Breath, call up the band at your mom’s house.
This article is satire. It is based on a May 2021 Instagram post from Slightly Fuzzed Records.