This satire article is a collaboration between Slightly Fuzzed and Monster Riff. Welcome to Slightly Riffed: The Fakest News In Stoner Rock!
Bands are always trying to come up with new and creative ways to get their album into the hands of listeners around the world. Years ago, U2 made headlines by automatically uploading their album to all iTunes users. The movie Popstar showed an album being streamed through home appliances. Well, the time has come for the next big thing in Stoner Rock…
Introducing the Cannabis strain known as “Indahead,” not to be confused with “Indica.”
Indahead will custom infuse a Cannabis strain with your new Stoner Rock album. Once the marijuana is smoked, the album begins to play in the user’s head with the ultimate clarity. No paranoia, no fearful inner dialogue… Just riffage.
This presents a unique branding opportunity for Stoner Rock bands, while capitalizing on the growing legal marijuana market. Each album will need to be repurchased once all of the marijuana is smoked.
Not to mention, the album itself will cost each fan about $300/ounce. This has huge financial potential for bands. The album artwork is printed on the baggie, with the liner notes printed on rolling papers and added to the baggie as well.
For fans, let’s be honest: You were going to be stoned anyway. You might as well get some fuzzy new tunes delivered directly into your brain while doing it, and the cost per ounce is pretty reasonable! Say goodbye to that terrifying, paranoid inner dialogue you usually get when you’re way too high. Indahead takes those voices in your head and turns them into your new favorite album.
Worried about how this might effect your streaming numbers? You might consider adding a silent visual element to YouTube to supplement the album. Once the user has consumed the Cannabis, they can sit back and enjoy the full experience, like in this video:
The CEO of Indahead adds, “We’re looking to disrupt the entire music industry. Imagine, no streaming services, no headphones—just a bunch of stoners wandering around secretly hearing full albums in their heads. And there is no better music scene to start with than Stoner Rock! Admittedly, volume is an issue at the moment that we are aware of and working on. Currently, people are not going to be able to hear much else but the music. This basically creates stoned zombies walking around, not being able to communicate with others, not acknowledging others, clearly high out of their minds, but we are still very excited about the product!”
What album would you like to hear via Indahead first? Let us know in the comments!
This article is satire.